What is self-confidence?
Self-confidence according to Oxford Languages is the ability to trust one’s own judgement abilities and quality. Related terms to self-confidence include composure, self-assurance and self-reliance. The opposite of self-confidence is “unsureness”. Merriam Webster defines self-confidence as confidence in ones abilities and powers. It is considered an adjective to describe the self. The antonym (opposite) is insecurity, self-distrust and self-doubt. This is what self confidence means. Some examples I can think of myself include one’s own ability to have a vision for something you desire and follow through to that vision until you have it. Obtaining desires that require ingenuity result in building self-confidence.
Tip #1 Have a vision for something you desire
What means self confident? A self-confident individual asks for what they want without fear. They pursue their desires knowing achieving them is possible. Whereas, someone who has self-doubt may never take any action to achieve their desire. Self efficacy a related term elaborates on confidence to execute behaviors relating to performance.
Tip #2 Know achieving your desire is possible
Confidence definition
The American Psychological Association defines self-confidence as a noun related to self-assurance. It is trust in ones abilities, judgement and capacity. It is an end goal in psychotherapy which is bolstered by a positive attitude. Additionally, a self-confident person believes they are capable of meeting demands of a task.
Among other definitions on the internet (Oxford and Merriam) they all mention trust and capability. So, key components of self-confidence are being able to trust your capabilities.
Tip#3 Trust your capacity
If I don’t trust my capabilities, then how do I build confidence? I think its important to look at your self concept from several viewpoints in order to better understand yourself.
Tip #4 Be empowered at a core level
What is self-confidence and an example? Self confidence is particularly useful when trying something new. For example, a person wants to bake a loaf of bread. Someone who has a high degree of self-doubt might want to bake a loaf of bread but they will never research how to bake it. They will never buy ingredients because the desire to bake a loaf of bread is followed by self-doubt. An example of a doubtful thought that disables the action of baking the bread is, “I won’t be able to figure this out, I am sure it’s too difficult for me.” The process stops because the mind has already disabled the individual. At a core level the person is disempowered and has given up. A confident person researches, asks people who know how to bake bread, perhaps watches some videos. Then goes to the store and buys the ingredients. The person creates a loaf of bread and based on the results makes it again or modifies the recipe to make it better. The above example is extremely simplistic but I will continue with some real life examples of how confident people actually think.
“I always wanted to change the lives of many people.” -Jean Paul Dejoria
“Wouldn’t it be cool to have a science lab on the moon.”- Elon Musk
“People only excel if you give them the right tools to do a great job and they feel loved“. -Richard Branson
“You have to just accept your body. You may not love it all the way, but you just have to be comfortable with it, comfortable with knowing that that’s your body.” – Rihanna
“To come from no voice, no power, and to be able to achieve what I have means that only my own personal vision holds me back.” -Oprah Winfrey
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” – Helen Keller
“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” -Coco Chanel
“I think that the power is the principle. The principle of moving forward, as though you have the confidence to move forward, eventually gives you confidence when you look back and see what you’ve done.” -Robert Downey Jr.
“Your faith in God is measured by your confidence in yourself. When you imagine a state, do you believe that the scene has the power to externalize itself?” – Neville Goddard
Notice how these individuals all have positive mindsets? You can’t change the world for better as much if you are plagued with self-doubt, it diminishes power. Another key element is focus. Perpetually being focused on a positive self image is key. 🗝️
Tip#5 Be perpetually focused on the positive
What is importance of self-confidence? Without self-confidence, an individual may feel stuck and depressed because they lack the ability to move forward and grow in life. They also may not be able to enjoy life. People who lack self-confidence at a core level may find themselves abusing substances. They might find themselves in a dead-end job and never try to pursue their dreams. Who is self confident person? There are many self-confident individuals on the planet. They do what they enjoy doing and share it with others. Some examples of empowered individuals are Richard Branson, Elon Musk, Oprah Winfrey, Rihanna, Cher, Dolly Parton and Anthony Robbins.
How to build self-confidence
Tip #6 Re-program your mind at a subconscious level
A key component of confidence building is re-programming your mind at a core subconscious level. You might read a 1000 pages of confidence advice but that isn’t going to actually give you confidence or make radical mindset changes. Especially, if you continually repetitively think you are not good enough. One way to do this is to reprogram yourself with a set of tools such as my 🎯 confidence system which is geared to reprogram you in your sleep and fill your mind with empowering ideas.
Sometimes, if you have focused hours and hours on inadequacy it is the default state. Your beliefs underlie your mental disposition they are a system of interconnected elements that maintain congruence. The individual thoughts are components of those beliefs. Changing your beliefs does change the whole system and it takes persistence. A new belief system is foreign in the beginning and it takes time for your subconscious mind to accept it.
What does re-programming your sub-conscious mind mean? Basically, this is going straight to the bullseye, cutting through all the noise and going to the center to completely re-build yourself. It if far more powerful than reading a book or a webpage. If something is not going right in your life it is an indicator of a lot of momentum built up on a negative disposition. You can completely switch gears and replace it with something that works better.
You can also listen to this free liberation song I created which focuses on freeing the self in 9 simple statements. Consciously expose yourself to powerful ways of thinking.
Increase self-confidence
Tip#7 Improve self-efficacy by choosing better language
Part of increasing self confidence is choosing better language to think. This helps your mental health. Positive words help your well being and self esteem. Here are some mind tools to keep your self criticism at bay.
- I forgive myself.
- I have courage to change.
- I trust myself.
- I am willing to re-build myself.
- I let the past go.
- I reclaim my power.
- I will succeed no matter what.
- I am determined.
- I am powerful.
How to build self-confidence
Where does self-distrust come from? From research I have done on individuals in the worst of life conditions (homelessness, prostitution, drug addiction). I have found some patterns. Many people subconsciously absorb negative conditions from their family environments growing up. Their parents set a negative example and the child ends up mimicking the same pattern as an adult. Also, the parent can say destructive things to the child and they end up weaving them into their self-concept. Are there any people in your life who have impacted you negatively? Think about what they said and did and consciously choose NOT to identify with that anymore. I realize this is easier said than done but patience and persistence with the self pays off.
Some tactics to address repetitively thinking about being a victim of someone who has harmed you is to mentally re-frame the situation. Imagine you are in a room with the person and having a conversion. Repair the relationship in your mind of what they could say and have you forgive them and move on with your life. It may sound like a silly idea but keep doing it until you feel the weight of their actions leave you.
The past can really be a wall to your own growth and development. Strong, confident individuals do NOT let the past define them and they refuse to be victims. There are many people who have been to hell and back and have moved through deep traumas and become successful. Listen to the below meditation to move through trauma.
What life buckets do you excel in vs. lack? I have found many people are confident in some areas of their lives and insecure in others. For example, one of my friends is confidence with managing money and wealth but insecure about her appearance. Another person I know is very confident in business but insecure about a relationship. In the areas you are confident in, what did you do to get there? Assess yourself in different areas of your life and recognize where you succeed and where you can improve. Some major life areas are relationships, body image, work
Confidence Level
Assess where you are at in different areas of your life. Are you doubting yourself in all areas of your life (relationships, work, wealth, body image)? Or are you strong in some and weak in others. What kinds of beliefs do you have in each bucket?
How do you feel and think in the areas you are successful in? How do you feel and think in the areas you are weak in? Is there a difference?
Re-building your self concept
The personality and mental disposition CAN be CHANGED. As much as we become comfortable with our own bullshit, it is a BARRIER to SELF-DEVELOPMENT. It takes focus and work to shift your mindset.
“There is no labor from which most people shrink as they do from that of sustained and consecutive thought, it is the hard work in the world.” -Thomas Troward
Thomas further explains, “To look upon the appearance of poverty will produce corresponding forms in your own mind, unless you hold the truth that there is no poverty.“
See below example of a negative disposition that leads to keeping an individual in their own misery. I am sure you may be able to identify a similar disposition in yourself or others.
Body Image Example 1
On the flip side, here is a sample of a positive mindset regarding wealth. These are harmonious thoughts that lead to feelings of strength. These all high energy associated with a different mood. Which disposition, belief and thoughts exude success versus failure?
Wealth Example 2
Ok, no that you have a basic idea of these mental structures what do you do?
Tip#8 Put in the hard work to re-map your beliefs
How do I even begin? Follow this checklist to boost your abilities.
How to build confidence
- Identify negative beliefs in areas of your life
Map each disposition, belief and thoughts. Take a good look at your head and where things are at.
- Replace with positive beliefs
Think of empowering beliefs and thoughts. Search for people who inspire you and write down some of their empowering ways of thinking. Find new words.
- Repeat the new system
Keep the new as your new go to statement. Catch yourself thinking in your old ways, let those ideas pass and focus on your new statements.
- Be persistent
Forge ahead despite occasionally feeling a lack of faith. Changing an entire list of beliefs might feel weird and almost like a lie to yourself. The thing is we are always making up stories to ourselves anyway. It takes time to convince yourself of a new story and a new you. Old beliefs don’t need to be your identity. Keep up with a new system and watch your life change.
Isn’t there an easier way to do all of this? I am not sure I can come up with the right material. Yes, there is a system that is a lot easier. You play it in your sleep for like a month. You find these new positive empowering thoughts in your mind in the day and it shifts your whole being. Click on the button below to learn more.
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